Every once in a blue moon we come across a Craigslist ad that’s been wonderfully crafted, and this is a perfect example of that.
In fact, we found this ad for a 2000 Saab 9-3 to be so delightfully humorous that we decided to share it with you below. By doing so, this masterpiece won’t be lost when the post expires on Craigslist.
Travel back to the year of MTV Cribs, Myspace, layered Polo shirts, and trying to make “fetch” happen with Angus, my 5 speed manual, 2000 Saab 9-3 Turbo! With an April inspection and a rebuilt engine topping only 50k miles, you will be able to enjoy his shaky steering wheel that gives you the comfort of knowing his ball joint is about to fall off as you cruise down the highway! Enjoy the soothing sounds of sweet whale calls as you make turns, caused by his power steering reservoir having a crack. If you thought it couldn’t get any better than this, it does! While driving Angus with the windows down (due to not having A/C), you will notice that every window, including the sunroof will go down! Every window, except the driver side, which has a broken track and will fall into the door if you try to lower it. Angus’ back seat looks lovely with a blanket on it, as it will cover the big gash in the seat! While we are discussing interior, I should also mention the beautiful hand stitched leather on the driver’s seat (thanks Mom!). The ceiling is also held up by beautifully colored push pins, which provide a fun view for passengers and keep your fabric from flapping all over the place! As we move to the back of Angus, I must mention the incredible size of his trunk, which I’d say is capable of holding at least 2-3 bodies, or 2 sets of skis! When you close the trunk, you might notice all of the scratches on the bumper, but do not worry, as we will call them “speed scratches” from running it over (bumper stickers included to help cover the wounds). Speaking of Angus’ perfect imperfections, there are two dents on the driver’s side of the hood, from where I kicked him after his battery had died on me for the third time in a row! So quirky! Additionally, Angus is an award winning car, voted best clunker of Eastern York’s class of 2018! Fantastic! Alarm system is also included! Believe me folks, Angus is my baby and I really would not be selling him if I didn’t have to, I just don’t think this old man can make it all the way to Ohio with me. Angus, in my honest opinion is a great first car to have, as he teaches you the ins and outs of being a car owner (UK version of the Saab repair manual is included, which makes an interesting read!). His gas mileage is actually pretty decent, and will cheaply get you where you need to go as it only costs about $30 to fill his tank! He needs a new home with an amazing family to take care of him and all of his quirks (or if it doesn’t work out you can always sell him for scrap, as he is all metal inside and out). Just remember, Angus is not just another car, he is a memorable experience that will stay with you the rest of your life!
An award-winning, whale-calling Saab with a rebuilt engine, custom upholstery, and enough trunk space to meet the needs of a member of the mafia—what more do you need?
Jokes aside, the listing does offer much more information than the typical Craigslist ad. Some folks don’t even include the mileage. That said, we tip our hats to the writer of this post, and hope they find someone who’s willing to keep this Saab on the road.
To see the original listing, click here.